There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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