Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
