Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
