We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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