I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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