i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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