I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
