Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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