census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
