You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
