He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
