Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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