If that was your dad, he is hot
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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