im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
