My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
