he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
