Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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