so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
