to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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