worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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