Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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