I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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