we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
