do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
