If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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