Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
