you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
