ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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