I bet he comes in French.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
