we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
