i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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