Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.