pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."