Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.