I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.