Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
