so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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