mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
People in love make me want to vomit
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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