I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
