An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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