I cockslap morals
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
