Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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