I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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