No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
