I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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