Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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