Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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