why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
