Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
