Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
