I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
