Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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