Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I intend to get homeless drunk
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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