dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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