I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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