i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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