I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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