Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
