yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
