do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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