i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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