Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
