Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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