i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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