it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
