everyone is single if you try hard enough
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize