He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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