awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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