i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
