hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am puke
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.