took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
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Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
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Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.