Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.