I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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