Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (122) Good night (4738) Bad night (36349)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts

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  (214): I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts http://tfl.nu/860y
  Replies (20) Good night (3105) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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  (615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9
  Replies (30) Good night (762) Bad night (3010)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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  (720): I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn. http://tfl.nu/6oei
  Replies (8) Good night (2738) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.

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  (516): A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/uye1
  Replies (39) Good night (2061) Bad night (8062)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

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  (410): forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this http://tfl.nu/291a
  Replies (27) Good night (1151) Bad night (8311)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i came on her dog

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  (504): i came on her dog http://tfl.nu/ocp2
  Replies (45) Good night (2340) Bad night (6927)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.

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  (412): Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym. http://tfl.nu/9hgw
  Replies (15) Good night (2685) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.

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  (215): He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule. http://tfl.nu/c0gm
  Replies (11) Good night (3191) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes

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  (410): I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes http://tfl.nu/6kum
  Replies (3) Good night (1805) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face

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  (330): I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face http://tfl.nu/xoka
  Replies (7) Good night (795) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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  (514): I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me http://tfl.nu/t69r
  Replies (2) Good night (1951) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"

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  (519): she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!" http://tfl.nu/5ib0
  Replies (19) Good night (3788) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.

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  (262): I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul. http://tfl.nu/9aqu
  Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.

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  (617): Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar. http://tfl.nu/d3zb
  Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (302)

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