So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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